Rather than acting now, you could ‘wait and see’ what happens in life.

This could mean:

• Waiting to decide if you want to have children;
• Waiting until you find a partner, or for a relationship to grow; or
• Trying for a child naturally when you feel ready.

It could also mean that you are not able to have a child naturally.

If this happens, you may like to consider:

• Living childfree
• Using IVF with your own eggs
• Using IVF with donated eggs or embryos
• Adoption or fostering

Some people fear they will regret not having children, that their life will have no meaning, or that they will be viewed as selfish or a failure. Further pressure can also come from family and/or friends. However, many people live very meaningful and enjoyable lives without having children.

Some of the benefits for living childfree include having greater flexibility in life (e.g. travelling, working, living overseas etc), greater financial stability, and less stress. Click here to read an article about living childfree.

Being childfree can be challenging for those who had hoped to become parents. For others, it is an active and more straightforward choice.

IVF can be used with your own eggs, donor eggs or donor embryos. If you are in your 40s, using your own eggs may be more difficult as the number and quality of a woman’s eggs decreases over time. For more information about using IVF with your own eggs, click here.

Egg Donation

Eggs donated by another woman are fertilised with sperm to create embryos. A healthy embryo is then implanted into the womb. Children born from donated eggs are not blood related to their birth mother, but may be related to their partner (as a birth father).

Egg donors can be known or from a clinic list. Ideally, they should be under the age of 35 and have completed their own family.

It can often be difficult to find an egg donor, but the internet is now helping to connect people with potential donors.

Embryo Donation

Embryos are donated by a couple. A healthy embryo is then implanted into the womb. These couples have usually been through IVF and have excess embryos in storage.

Children born from donated embryos are not blood related to their birth mother or their partner (if they have one). They will be blood related to the donor couple. It can often be difficult to find an embryo donor.

What costs are involved?

The costs for egg and embryo donations vary.

You might need to reimburse the donor for all reasonable treatment related costs such as travel, time off work for procedures, blood tests etc.

Are there any other issues?

There are important emotional, practical, and legal issues to consider when using donor eggs or embryos.

The rules around donor use varies between Australian states/territories, and fertility clinics. All legal and ethical issues around donor use will be discussed in required counselling sessions before they can proceed.

Where can I have this done?

Donor egg and embryo treatments are available at various fertility clinics around Australia.

The Fertility Society Australia and New Zealand has a list of accredited fertility clinics within Australia.

You can ask your selected clinic about what services they have available.

Adoption

• Creates a legal parent-child relationship between people who are not blood related.
• An adopted child takes on the same rights and privileges as a blood related child.
• The adoption process can be difficult, lengthy, and costly.
• Adoptions in Australia are handled by state/territory government agencies, or approved adoption agencies.
• Adoption processes and criteria can differ between Australian states/territories, and other countries.
• More information about adoption can be found at Adopt Change, click here.

Fostering

• A form of home-care provided to children and youth whilst they are unable to live with their parents.
• The time spent by a child in foster care can be long or short depending on their situation.
• The type of foster care provided also depends on the child’s age, and if they have any problems such as behavioural difficulties or disabilities.
• Foster carers need to provide a safe and supportive home for a child who may be troubled or traumatised.
• The criteria for fostering may differ between Australian states/territories.
• More information about fostering can be found at Adopt Change, click here.

Here are some pros and cons about waiting to see what happens which you may want to think about.

Pros

• Gives more time to prepare for having a child.
• Gives more time to consider having a family at all.
• Mother and baby will be blood related (if conceived naturally or using IVF with her own eggs).
• Possible cost reimbursement for IVF treatment (depending on fertility status at the time).

Cons

• Potential inconvenience, side-effects, and health risks from treatment if IVF is used.
• The effects of older age on fertility may not be fully overcome by IVF.
• Donor eggs or embryos can be difficult to find.
• The adoption and fostering process can be costly and time consuming.